False Identities

On Sunday, Jeff talked about taking off our false identities and putting on Christ.

Working with kids and youth, I think about identity, belonging, and purpose a lot. In my experience, belonging usually comes first. We figure out who we need to be to fit in, and we wear that for a while. Purpose comes later.

I started 9th grade in a new school district, and I was a shy kid. Freshman year was rough. Sophomore year I joined the cross-country team and found my people. Suddenly, my core identity was “runner.” When I went to college, I didn’t try to join the team, but I still picked exercise science as my major because that seemed like something a runner would study? The problem was, I hated it and did terrible in my classes. Year four, I couldn’t take it anymore. I dropped all my classes and just took courses that looked fun. My identity shifted — again.

I still hold false identities. I’m a dad, which is wonderful and very much true… but it can also be a false self. My son is only three, and I already feel an existential crisis coming when he leaves home (Who will I be when he’s gone?!).

Right now, the thing that helps me most in “putting on Christ” is Sabbath. From Friday dinner to Saturday dinner, my family avoids anything that makes us feel productive, impressive, or like we’re earning our keep. No work, no chores, no “shoulds”… and to stay present, no electronics. It hasn’t made my false selves disappear, but it does remind me — over and over — that my truest self is found in God’s love, not in what I do.

So maybe this week, try one small thing that helps you set down an identity that doesn’t quite fit anymore. You might just find that Christ is holding out something better for you to wear.

Grace & Peace,

Kim Herbert